France

Haley and I arrived in Paris at around noon and found our way to the hotel which is in the 15th arrondissement. The subway system signage is much improved from what I remember back in the early ’90s. Now there are apps to help you get around. It was raining which is unfortunate but hey first world problems right? We were hungry so went looking for food and just a few shops down from the hotel was an authentic looking place. I had linguine with tomatoes and basil. Wow it was amazing! And my French came back magically. I don’t understand how I haven’t really used the language is 25 years and I can actually kind of communicate. Okay so I have to say this. North Americans have this perception of the French which is absolutely false. They think the French are rude and snobby. Perhaps this came from Paris where the locals are swarmed by obnoxious tourists who have no manners. We wandered around the city for about eight hours! The only really touristy thing we did was climb a lot of stairs up to the second platform of the Eiffel Tower. That structure is such an icon it seems surreal to be able to see it from practically anywhere downtown. There’s a gift shop on the second level where I found a petit prince fridge magnet! Had to buy it because of my tattoo. Also we ate crepes and drank wine. Paris is...

Holland to France

Currently in Brussels waiting on the train for some ‘operation’ to be completed. I think they’re switching engines or something. I was just travelling backwards at over 200km per hour. Feel slightly nauseated by travelling backwards but I’ll get over it. Cause I’ll be in Paris soon. Eating a croissant. Forecast calls for rain but I hope it holds off until tomorrow. We’re just staying in Paris for a night and then off to Bordeaux on the train. Haley my niece and I went kayaking yesterday through the canals of Utrecht. It was so beautiful! That was only the second time I ever kayaked so it took a while to get used to it. My ass went numb and my back was a little sketchy but no harm done so far. We brought a small bottle of wine with us and some snacks and had a nice leisurely time of it. Beside the canal on some steps we came across a dude with a banjo singing to some Japanese tourists. He was really good! I think we surmised he was Canadian from the type of music he was playing (singer songwriter type like ray lamontagne) and from what he was saying to the tourists. Haley and I creeped him by sticking around out of sight under the bridge hoping he would sing again but he didn’t. So we’re now in France! I know because I get texts from the Dutch carrier telling me how much it is to call and text. So observations about the Netherlands: everyone is very tall. Everyone is very nice. Bicycles everywhere. Expensive to eat...

The way there

Currently surfing along the jet stream at 37,000 smelling the magnificence of a fellow passenger’s sinister flatulence. My neighbour was forced to tell me at an opportune time that the odorous ness did not in fact belong to him. I will find out whose it is and punish them. It is interfering with my attempts to nap. The gravol was a waste. Four and a half hours to go. I’m not going to make it. Finally left the remnants of Canada behind and are approaching Greenland. My ass is going numb. Watched one movie. May attempt another. Non flatulent neighbour watching the Lego movie. He is a grown man. Stop being a whiny little bitch. What am I most looking forward to, you might ask? I think it’s a toss up between sipping red wine in Bordeaux and meeting my new rellies in England. The Farter is back. We had a brief sojourn over dinner but now they’re back. They must die. Landed safely and was happy to get away from the unpleasantness. Haley and marten were there to meet me which was very sweet of them. Had a fun birthday party with martens friends last night and slept like a log! Maybe my jet lag will be okay this time. Off to go cycling around today!! Fun fun. I like this...