Currently surfing along the jet stream at 37,000 smelling the magnificence of a fellow passenger’s sinister flatulence. My neighbour was forced to tell me at an opportune time that the odorous ness did not in fact belong to him. I will find out whose it is and punish them. It is interfering with my attempts to nap. The gravol was a waste. Four and a half hours to go. I’m not going to make it.

Finally left the remnants of Canada behind and are approaching Greenland. My ass is going numb. Watched one movie. May attempt another. Non flatulent neighbour watching the Lego movie. He is a grown man.

Stop being a whiny little bitch.

What am I most looking forward to, you might ask? I think it’s a toss up between sipping red wine in Bordeaux and meeting my new rellies in England.

The Farter is back. We had a brief sojourn over dinner but now they’re back. They must die.

Landed safely and was happy to get away from the unpleasantness. Haley and marten were there to meet me which was very sweet of them. Had a fun birthday party with martens friends last night and slept like a log! Maybe my jet lag will be okay this time.

Off to go cycling around today!! Fun fun. I like this place!!